It won’t be long before BRCK BM selects his running mate. On the off-chance he hasn’t made a firm decision yet, here are some suggestions from outside the mainstream that would mesh well with his message of HOPE, CHANGE and YES WE CAN:
Mary Winkler – This passionate family woman is wildly popular with religious voters and would bring some diversity to the ticket, helping to shore up disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters. Selecting her would be like sneaking up behind John McCain and fatally shooting him in the back, then unplugging the phone and driving to Florida (a key swing state).
Cap’n Crunch – This charismatic chap has high name recognition and could appeal to liberal kool-aid drinkers while being white-bread enough not to alienate moderates. He would also provide the military experience and candy marshmallows the Democratic ticket so severely lacks.
He Kexin – Though she’s only 14 years old, this little fellow citizen of the world would symbolize and herald the Utopian communist government desired by the presumptive Democratic nominee. She has dedicated her life to clinging to the parallel bars, rather than guns or God or negative attitudes about people who don’t look like her. And she has more experience than he does.
[...] Mick Wright shares some of the darkhorse prospects. [...]
Don’t forget He Kexin’s foreign policy experience in the Olympic Village.
Cap’n Crunch, in hindsight that would have been a very good pick. As it stands now, neither candidate has any military experience at all.