Theme: Songs From Their Birth Years
Hair Curtains
Birth year: 1987
Tonight: “Alone.” She’s having major pitch problems, and she looks like she’s up there because she has to be, not because it’s fun.
Randy: Wrong song choice. Too big for you, too pitchy.
Paula: I’m glad America has heard you sing before. You were brave. (read: that sucked)
Simon: It wasn’t as appalling as last week.
Final take: She should be in the bottom three.
Captain Stinkyhair
Birth year: 1987
Tonight: “Fragile.” Good adjective to describe his voice. This sucks, but I think it might actually be decent if he slowed it down. The guitar is very amateurish and all over the place. Is there a point to singing half the song in Spanish?
Randy: Good song, but it didn’t do much vocally for you.
Paula: It was true to who you are, but there was no “wow” factor.
Simon: It’s time for you to take this more seriously.
Final take: I’m fairly certain he smokes a lot of weed.
Baby Imitator (Yes, we know you can do the baby sound. Please stop now.)
Birth year: 1987 (more…)